This is the blog of Keven James Bramwell, an inmate in a maximum security Texas prison. These are his real-life stories of life in prison, and how he got there. Behind brick walls, steel doors, and iron gates, he shares the pages of his journals with the world. (Some material is adult in nature – reader discretion advised.) Cannot be reproduced without permission. COPYRIGHT 2011

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Little Earthquakes

Always

Suns rise and set

Moons come and go

Stars journey to a distant sky

Tides ebb and flow

Clouds form and fade

as if to silently say

That all we ever really have

is tomorrow’s yesterday

But there’s one thing time

will never ever own

And one day time itself

will have to finally show

that though the winds of change

may carry away the days,

My heart will be here

holding you always…

all ways.

–Terah Cox

 

Epic

It’s not that I have changed my mind

Or misplaced all the reasons

And it’s not that I have lost my courage

It’s still secure and in safe-keeping

 

It’s the tangle of misconception

That ravages my spirit

The decision made to carry away

And annihilate my existence

 

Where in one’s soul does redemption go

When judgments have already denied it

And when the one’s you love, have turn and run

A sentence of a different confinement

 

I’m not quite certain if the search is over

Petals still cling to their vine

Like a poem to a poet

A voice to a choir

A riddle trapped inside a rhyme

EPIC.

–Keven James, April 2016

Me, Myself & I

Me, myself, and I is the anthem to The Solo Flight (Keven’s newest collection of artwork, poetry, and blog entries)

Gallery

Solo Flight Collection

If You Want Me To

The pathway is broken and the signs are unclear and I don’t know the reason why you brought me here, but just because you love me the way that you do, I’m gonna walk through the valley if you want me to.
‘Cause I’m not who I was when I took my first step and I’m clinging to the promise you’re not through with me yet, so if all these trials bring me closer to you, then I will go through the fire if you want me to.
It may not be the way I would have chosen when you led me through a world that’s not my home, but you never said it would be easy, you only said I’d never be alone. I’ll remembering the suffering your love put me through and I’ll go through the darkness if you want me to.
–Keven James, March 2016

In So Many Words

and it aches

that place in my soul

where the notes scroll

lost keys on a chord

bolted doors closed

the forgotten words

a voice unheard

and where do I turn

please no more — no more

and all the signs say that I

have the answers

like they are hidden inside

and that is all that really matters

but there’s a song left unsung

in a book with unwritten chapters

and without the wings of my heart

a petal from a flower

and it aches

that place in my soul

a story untold

a hand that still holds

all the world

never let go — wings that can’t fold

in so many words

in so many … words

–Keven James, September 2015

Make A Wish

From deep within the Texas prison system days away from my 37th birthday, I balance the framework of hope, against the weight of the world. I think about who I am today, and who I was ten years ago. How I’ve managed the complexities of adhering to an underground world and, at the same time, somehow keeping my head above water.
Under the intensity of buzzing lights, the slamming of steel doors, and the continuous chime of keys, I diligently search for priceless moments of silence and peace. The ramifications of having little to no escape becomes toxic and debilitating. Running on fumes, there are times when you unconsciously become a part of the herd. Everything and almost everyone here challenges you. I’ve had to bend, mold, and intrinsically emulate all the aspects of what it takes to survive in a Texas maximum security prison. There is no such thing as being a wallflower. Take everything you imagine and multiply it by 10… That’s the first 30 days.
The man in the mirror I see today isn’t afraid to look away. From the inside out, I’ve faced head on the elements of my character that have often failed me. I haven’t reached inside this place in hopes of finding justice or forgiveness. I’ve dug for answers inside myself, when all that was left was my tempered heart barely beating. If I hurt you, I’ve spoken to you and I’ve cried a million times the tears caused in your world, in your life. How do you search for answers to questions your soul is afraid to ask? You rebuild yourself from the ground up, and you become the man you were created to be.
I don’t suffer these days from the claws of the past that gripped me ferociously. I don’t stand unevenly on a foundation build of shame and torment. Neither do I ignore the tragic result of having done so for many years of my life. I take each day one day at a time, though I have never counted them. I collected the moments of my life that are priceless, and will forever save them. My faith in God, in my friends, and in myself, is much greater than my fears. I feel like I’ve spent the last ten years learning how to untangle myself from a place and time that wrapped around me like a spool of thread. Mentally and emotionally breaking free from the very things that caused me to be physically held captive by a ball and chain.
I have lost so much in my 37 years. My life has not ended, though it feels like it has repeatedly time and time again. I have not given up, even though they say the road ahead dead ends in concrete and steel. My heart still beats like the wings of wild birds in a cage. My purpose and reason is not defined, but I am entirely certain it has already been planned. Do I succumb in the absence of freedom, of forgiveness? Or do I stand firm knowing that I’m a changed man who still deserves to celebrate his next birthday.
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–Keven James, September 2015
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